Scale Addict and Measurements

Hello, my name is Dwan and I am a scale addict!! I shake my head as I write this, but I know it is true. I keep telling myself that I need to weigh only once a week. But every single morning I wake up, I can not help myself. I can't even sleep in anymore because as soon as I wake up I tell myself I need to get up and weigh myself. I lay there an think.. no you are not going to weigh yourself .. go back to sleep, but the idea of seeing how much if anything I have lost is just too irresistible.

Of course when I am hitting a benchmark its worse. I had to write this blog today because I think I am insane. I have been very close to being in the 250's. My scale for the last few days has read:

Monday: 262.3
Tuesday: 262.5
Wednesday: 261.3
Thursday: 261.8
Friday: 261.4
Saturday: 260.3

Up until now I have been taking only a half of my water pill. I decide that now I am going to take a full water pill, just so I can make sure I meet this benchmark. I mean I have less than half a pound to make it. So I want to ensure I make it because I know my scale loves to play games with me.

This morning is Sunday. Sleep in day. I am exhausted. What time do I wake up?? 7 A.M.!! For those of you that know me .. this is just unreal. Can I go back to sleep?? Of course not!! Because what do I have to do?? Weigh myself .. because what if??

I get up and do the morning routine, come on you know what it is. Get up .. potty... did I potty enough?? Lets sit here just a minute more to make sure. Then strip. You know those panties and t-shirt must weigh a pound or two. I even got my legs and armpits waxed yesterday so I don't have to worry about leg hair weighing me down. I pull the scale out from the wall to the exact point I do every day. I have little lines in my linoleum so I know exactly where my scale needs to be. I toe it into position. I push my toe on it to get it to light up. I wait for the little 0.0 to show up and then I step on it. I position my toes on the scale so they are exactly lined up with the outside of the reader. And I wait. It goes through its little slot machine roll. And bam.. 260.1. Are you kidding me??? I start talking to my scale. Come on.. be nice to me. You do not want me to be disappointed do you?? Stupid scale!

So I decide that its obviously too early to weigh myself. I go back to sleep right after I take another full water pill. I decide that I am going to weigh myself after I get up at a decent hour. I sleep until 10:30. I get up and go through my routine again. I coach my scale to give me some good news. Slot machine roll ..... bam 260.0. Now my scale goes by .1 pounds so all it has to do is go down by .1 and I am in the 250's. Come on scale.. whats wrong with you! I get off the scale. I step back on placing my feet to the outermost area of the scale. Slot machine rollllll ... bam 260.0 Damn scale! I do this process a couple more times. Then I lose it and I weigh myself while I'm holding onto the towel rack. Nice!!! I'm 232!! Some day!! Then I take one more measurement and its still 260.0.

I realize that I am now officially crazy. I laugh at my antics. What does it matter if I am in the 250's today or tomorrow?? I know I am going to lose it. I post my official weight today in my spreadsheet as 260.0. I am now down 45.8 pounds and have exactly 10 pounds to lose to my first big weight loss goal. It is three and a half weeks until my birthday so I am going to be ahead of the game!

Measurements

Good news!!! I am now no longer as fat around as I am tall. I have lost about 6 inches in my hips which is the biggest measurement I have. Fortunately, the bariatrics department gives you a measuring tape that is 72 inches long instead of the regular measuring tape that is only 60 inches long. My beginning hips measurements was 64.25 they are now 58.5 inches. Yes that is still big .. but at least I am officially taller than that :) I lost 6.25 inches in my waist. 3 inches each in chest, ribs, and each thigh. My total inches lost is 37.75.

Miscellaneous

I feel a lot better. I swam laps with my dumbbells three times last week.

One of the things I want to work on is my eating. I am eating a ton less, but I am still not eating healthy. I know that unless I fix this, I will not be able to maintain my weight once I lose it.

I had a great time at the support group this week. There was a vibrant speaker there and it was fun to chat with my new friends.

A problem I am having is constipation. Yea .. not a topic one likes to talk about, but hell.. I have talked about everything else .. so why not! I know that my bowels are not getting hydrated enough, therefore they are constipated. I have been taking my chewable fiber pills, but they are not helping. I have very small irregular bowel movements. I ran across someone who does Colon Hydrotherapy and I think I am going to consult with them. I used to think that was weird, but right now the thought of hydrating my colon sounds very nice and comforting. I will keep you updated on that.

Best wishes, love, peace and happiness!!

I am very grateful I was able to have the sleeve gastrectomy. It was worth every single penny!!

Bathing Suits and Big Boobs Ug!

Now I have heard over the years there are very few women who like going swimsuit shopping and who do not get depressed viewing themselves under the fluorescent lights in the dressing room mirrors in these ill-fitting swim suits that show everything. I was having this experience yesterday as I was swimsuit shopping yesterday.

I am not sure why it is but it seems to me that every swimsuit I have tried on in the past and yesterday all have that "pretend bra" in them. I guess its padded there so that it can offer some support and cover your perky nipples when they hit the cold water. The problem I have with these swimsuits is they all seem to come with a B cup bra in them. I don't know many women my size who can fit into a B cup so this means anyone trying on a swimsuit my size is going to have failure. We are already having trouble as it is finding a swimsuit in our size why put the added failure of making it not fit right and leave things bulging out where they shouldn't be???

My first stop in my swimsuit shopping was a local thrift shop. Let me tell you, most of the swimsuits I tried on there were practically brand new. You know why?? Because as they didn't fit me I am sure they didn't fit the woman who bought them so she didn't wear it. They probably did as I used to do and bought them without trying them on. I tried on four swimsuits there. All in my "size". They were all listed as 3X or a size 24W. I was ready to cry each time I put one on.

You do not get my size and not have a bunch of gobblely gook under your arms and rolls on the side of your back. I don't know about you, but I do not want to show the world this. I want a swimsuit that covers/hides it. Two of the swimsuits I tried on were halter style suits. This means they barely covered the "girls" and didn't cover any of the under the arms/side of the back stuff. Two of the bathing suits were shoulder straps but for some reason they felt they should put the boobs around the belly button. WTF??? I was really hoping I could find a swimsuit at the thrift shop as I have ambitious plans to not fit in it long.

Being here in this little city, we do not have a whole lot of options, so after leaving the thrift shop, wanting to cry, I decided to head over to Wally World to see what they had out. At the last moment I decided to turn left instead of right and ended up at Kohl's. Kohl's does not have a huge selection of plus size clothes, but they are usually a nice selection. I was about to give up on finding a swimsuit there when I accidentally came across a half rack of suits at the very very back of the section. I was looking at the sizes and became very irritated when most of the suits were a size 16 or 18, they had a couple of size 20s and ONE size 22. There happen to be a sales associate standing nearby and I asked her: "Is there a reason Kohl's stops at size 22? I mean there are several women here that are bigger than a size 22." She said: "I do not know, they must not be very popular." Being already depressed from the last store I did not, at the time, find this very humorous! I know she was referring to the swimsuits, but the way it came out I just wanted to bite her head off. Good thing I didn't.

She told me to try the suit on and if I found a style I liked we could scan the ticket and see what size they had it available online and they had free shipping. So I took the only size 22 they had to the dressing room. There is something to say for spending more money on a bathing suit. I tried on the swimsuit and just stared into the mirror. I couldn't believe it.. it actually fit and looked nice and covered everything that I wanted it to cover. For the first time in my life as a fat chick, I found a bathing suit that actually fit and looked nice. As it turned out, the same sales associate was in the dressing room as I was walking out very pleased with the suit. I stopped long enough to tell her I took back everything I said and I was very pleased with the swimsuit and thanked her for encouraging me to try it on.

On the next note: I am down 42.1 pounds today!!! I might change to weighing once a week as I am still struggling day to day with water weight, but I am pleased with my weight loss. Only 13.7 pounds to my first major weight loss goal that I plan to meet before my birthday. May 4th for all of you wanting to know! I am very excited about this! My current weight is 263.7. It is strange but I have to stop myself when I think about my weight. I keep thinking that I am still 300 pounds. I am now officially in the mid-200s. My next goal will be my grandson's birthday and I would like to be down 30 lbs by then. It is at the end of May so I think it is a pretty reasonable goal. I will have some great before and after photos then. I have not posted any pics of me from my grandson's first birthday because of how horrible I look in them. (Personal opinion I know)

I went to the doctor's office last week (not the surgeon) and he was very impressed with my weight loss. I was down 43 pounds by his scale in just over 2 months.

I am continuing my swimming, but it seems I only go about twice a week, maybe now I will go more with my very nice bathing suit. I have fixed my problem with the mask. I now use the cap, goggles, nose plug, snorkel and fins. I swim laps for about an hour then I go to the kiddie lap pool and use the dumbbells the pool provides and walk back and forth while keeping the dumbbells under water and working on different arm muscles. I may still look like a retard, but I feel very good while and after I am doing it and NOW I wont be flashing everyone at the pool.

Here are the photos:

My new swimsuit. I look at this and I really like the suit, of course I want to be a lot thinner, but it is what it is.



This is what they were seeing while wearing my other swimsuit. I felt very self-conscious wearing it like I was exposing too much on purpose.



My new swim gear.



My fins. These fins actually give my legs a great workout, much more so than swimming without them.



I am very very grateful I had the Sleeve Gastrectomy. I would recommend it to anyone considering weight loss options and they have a lot of weight to lose.

Today is the last day of my old life!

Tomorrow starts a whole new life for me. I start my two week liquid protein diet. So you know what I did today right? Thats right! I went to Olive Garden and had my favorite meal. I had the Zuppa Tuscana which is a sausage and potato soup then Steak Gorgonzola with angel hair pasta as an entrée. I will say that I shared this dish with my son George and still had some left over, but yum yum yummy! After we were done eating the entrée both George and I were full, but now comes the difference between skinny people eating habits and fat people eating habits, I asked him if he wanted dessert. He says, "No I am full." Hmmmm well so am I, but I am still going to have dessert! We ordered .. haha I say "we" .. the three shots of dessert. He ate one of them and I ate the other two. What the hell, I am not going to be able to eat those again so why not, right? It's four hours later and I am still extremely full.

After lunch, I had my pre-op appointment with my surgeon. Typically this is done just a few days before surgery, not two weeks. But who am I to wait? I haven't done anything else on their schedule. I will be doing the two week liquid protein diet on their schedule however. From now on I will be calling it Glucerna Diet. I will be drinking six 8-ounce bottles of Glucerna a day for two weeks. This is to reduce the fat in the liver, so that the surgeons can easily move it out of the way to get to the stomach during surgery. If the liver if fatty, it is very soft and can be easily damaged.

I got weighed in. I am glad I got weighed in after having a huge lunch and before I started my Glucerna diet. This way I will have an accurate weight loss. Well, maybe not accurate, but at least that first weigh-in will feel really, really good. My blood pressure was a little high 166/82. I think it's to be expected after eating that huge meal, then add on top of that my anxiety. I am still not ready to divulge my weight. Maybe after my first or second weigh-in post op. We will see.

I did not spend much time with the surgeon. Well, maybe 20 minutes, so that could be a fair amount of time. He went over the risks involved and answered any questions I had. I had two questions. One - after cutting out 85% of my stomach, will my stomach still produce acid to digest my food. He said that they now leave a small pouch at the bottom of the stomach (he drew me a picture on the white paper they use to cover the examining chairs) that allows the stomach to produce stomach acid. This is great news. I was thinking about that the other day. What if my stomach doesn't produce stomach acid anymore. Will the food go undigested? Second question was about the anesthesia. He said what every one else said which is I will be talking to the anesthesiologist before surgery and I was to explain to him my fears and concerns so he could take care of them.

Then comes the paperwork with the nurses. Getting registered. I am officially registered to have surgery February 9th. I have to fast that day. Um.. am I not going to be fasting for two weeks before the surgery?? I guess I can't even have the Glucerna. The pre-op nurse will call me a day or two before and will tell me specifically what I need to do and drink and not drink etc.

Here's your sign! During this paperwork, the nurse asked me if I was allergic to latex. I said I think I have a sensitivity to it but, I do not know if I am allergic to it. She said, "So this wasn't fatal or anything right?" Um?? I just looked at her and raised my eyebrows and gave her that look that said "HUH?!?" After staring at her for a few seconds, I chuckled and said "No, not fatal, I am still here, I am just sensitive to it." In my mind I was thinking "Damn I need to blog about this!"

After all the paperwork comes the payments. The break-down for self-pay patients is:

• Hospital $7,500 (This covers up to $15,000 worth of hospital care)
• Anesthesia $ 977
• Surgeon $5,340

This comes to a total of $13, 817. This is about $5k-7k less than it cost about six years ago when I was looking into it. This does not include the $300 for the psych evaluation nor the $100 for the nutritionist evaluation. I am not going to include the primary care physician or lab work done as I had that done for myself. The lab work would have been included in the surgeon fee, if I would have waited.

I am excited! I am not even worried about doing the two week Glucerna diet. We will see how tomorrow goes. I know my kids will be supportive. I am glad I switched shifts at work. I am not a morning person, so I get to sleep in and do not have to be to work until 1 p.m.!! I think this will help significantly.

I have decided I am not going to have any friends or family at the hospital while I am having the surgery. I do not see any reason to have people just wait around for hours while I am having the surgery. I am especially not interested in seeing anyone after I wake up and not feeling good. When I feel up to calling them, then they can come see me. Its not like they can bring me food or anything. I plan to wake up slowly and ask for lots of drugs afterwards then do some good snoozing. I will make more definite plans after I know more of the timing.

It's not fear it's excitement!!

Is it the moon?

I have noticed lately that I am being emotional. More so than usual. I have been irritable. Sometimes flat out bitchy and my kids would agree a little unreasonable in my anger. Is it the moon? Is it tax season? Or is it this life changing decision I am making? I am not sure, but have to laugh at these "vitamins" my oldest son George gave me today. They are called "Happy Hour" and tout to relieve "employment stress". I thought they were a joke, but he says he purchased them at GNC. Is he giving me a silent message? No matter, it was sweet of him to think of me. I love my kids, and I know that they will be very very supportive during this ordeal. Not once complaining about the money I am spending on this surgery. Not even Carlos who always complains about every penny I spend! Ok that was a slight exaggeration, but I swear that kid is going to be extremely rich someday with his penny pinching.

Today I was talking to a co-worker/friend. I told her about my exciting news of the upcoming surgery. For some reason I brought up some thoughts I was having. I told her I was going to have to blog about this.

In the past, when I am starting a new diet, I always tell myself, "This time next year I will be ..." "In two months I will be ... " "By Christmas I will be ..." and every single time I have disappointed myself. Now here I am getting this surgery, with almost guaranteed results (average weight loss is 70-80% of excess weight) and I am doing the same thing, "By my birthday I will be 50lbs lighter" "This time next year I will be 100lbs lighter" but in reality I am not believing myself. I have said these things so many times in the past and have failed that even with almost guaranteed success facing me I am still doubting myself.

I think I might be doubting myself a little more these days as I am on this test diet and doing ok, but not being perfect on it. I feel myself wondering if I am going to be disappointed when I weigh myself in the morning.

I self-analyze A LOT. I am sure this causes me a lot of stress as well. I come up with all these questions I just do not have answers for.

I chatted with a friend today who once told me "If you do not like being fat, Dwan, why don't you do something about it?" I remembering telling him I can't. I have tried and failed many many many many times. Today I was able to tell him "I am doing something about it!" He seemed to be happy for me, but as a few other guys have asked. "Will you lose your boobs?" Funny thing is I would be perfectly happy being a C cup. I am not sure I can possibly get down to a C cup, but if I were I would be ok with it. To be able to shop at Victoria Secrets and buy something that fits me would be a dream.

Interestingly, even as I write this the little thoughts of failure pop into the back of my brain and work themselves forward. How many times did I start a diet and know I was going to succeed. I have another blog under this profile titled "I will be thin!" This is just another attempt at losing weight and failing. I start all positive and give up after the first hurtle. Fortunately, there is no giving up. Once that stomach is gone its gone for good. I am having the one surgery that is not reversible.

I will end all this melancholy blathering with an embarrassing and gross fat story. I have thought of this story over the years but have not told anyone about it. I was talking to my girlfriend Kerri this morning. I was talking about how the gastric bypass has the dumping syndrome, which I believe is where you have uncontrollable poop if you eat too much sugar. It reminds me of my experience with Xenical. I told Kerri I never told this story because it was too embarrassing and just plain out gross. She told me I had to tell the story. So here it is:

Back on one of my diets, I was seeing what I call a "fat doctor". She was a bariatric doctor and helped people to lose weight with monitoring and lots of pills. One of those pills was Xenical. Xenical is a fat blocker. When you eat fat, it takes the fat and forces it out when you poop. It turns it very oily. You can see the oil just floating on the water of the toilet bowl. If you eat alot of fat, you need to be very careful. Its like diarrhea. You definitely do NOT want to fart. This is just background information and not the story. It gets way worse. UG.. maybe I am just stalling!!

I was in San Diego on business. We always go out for good food while in San Diego. I knew it was pretty fatty so I popped a Xenical that night. The next morning, I was taking my long leisurely bath, reading my book when I got a phone call. I sat up to reach for the phone, and found that the pressure of sitting up must have let loose because next thing I know I am sitting in a bathtub full of water with all this oily substance floating in it. Holy cow! I jumped up as I was totally disgusted, but got even more disgusted when it was all over my body and then dripping all over the bathroom floor. It was horrible!! I don't even remember who I was talking to, but I got off the phone quickly. Fortunately, there were tons of extra towels in the bathroom. I, of course didn't want the maid to see all of this so wiped it all up, cleaned out the bathtub, and was fortunate enough to have a towel left over to dry myself after my shower. I have never told anyone this story, so why not tell the whole world?? Needless to say I did not take the Xenical ever again.

All scheduled and ready to go!!!

I am on my final steps to my new life.

First. As of January 17, 2011 (my youngest son's 16th birthday), I am no longer drinking carbonated drinks. I am a major Coca Cola addict. Carbonated drinks are on the no-no list after having weight loss surgery. When your stomach can only hold 2 ounces, they do not want you filling it up with carbonation as it becomes painful. Personally, I have known that Coke has been a big downfall of mine. It keeps me dehydrated and full of useless calories. Good side is I am drinking more water.

Second. At this same time I started testing out the liquid diet. I chose Glucerna protein shakes over Slimfast as it has tons less sugar. When you go on the liquid diet you get 6 shakes a day. You can add some clear broth, sugar free jello, and sugar free popsicles. My testing diet is making me a little scared. My mind is saying "If I could do this I would be skinny already!" Right now I am having 2 shakes and one meal. Now if my meal was an appropriate meal I would be losing weight, but as I am starving by the time I get to my meal, it is definitely NOT appropriate. I have noticed though that I am eating a lot less. I am not cleaning my plate. So possibly my theory on doing the testing diet first to shrink my stomach so that when I do go on the all liquid diet it will be easier, might just work.

I am still having some major anxiety over the anesthesia. I might have mentioned that after the last surgery I had back in 1999, I got really sick and they prescribed anti-nausea meds which I then had an allergic reaction to and ended up having severe panic attacks for 3 years. Dr. Joe gave me some Clonazepam. I haven't taken it during the day yet, but holy cow does it help me sleep good. Andi, who I talk about in a few paragraphs, gave me the numbers to the anesthesia office so I can call them and talk to them about my concerns.

Third. I went to the weight loss surgery seminar last night. Most people do this first, then get the psych eval and nutritional eval. I didn't learn much there as I had already read everything they had on their web-site, as well as watched several YouTube videos, read blogs, etc., but I got to check it off my list. It was nice to meet three ladies who had weight loss surgery who have lost a ton of weight. They brought before photos. It was amazing. They looked great!

Everything on my check list is checked off so I got to start on the things that are not on my check list. My friend who just got the gastric bypass knew that I needed to take a pre-bariatric surgery class and signed me up for the class given this morning. They told me that you usually do not take this class until after you have scheduled your surgery. So on my way to class, I called the surgeons office and made it official. I am schedule for surgery. Well sort of. I am scheduled for sometime between February 9 - 12. On one of those days, I will be having my surgery. Wooohooo!! This is directly after "first peak" of tax season. I have let them know at work that I plan to be gone from that day until I feel better or around two weeks.

But back to the class. This class was actually very informative and it was FREE!! A nurse from the hospital bariatrics division ran it. Her name is Andi. Very very sweet lady. She explained what the procedures were. When to start the liquid protein diet. She talked about what we can eat right after the surgery, what to eat for the next several weeks after the surgery. She talked about exercise. She talked about all kinds of things and answered all our questions. She also had the LapBand surgery so has some personal experience. She took pictures of us.

There was myself and another lady there who brought her husband who was a riot. I would guess the husband was late 60s. A former navy guy originally from Massachusetts. Before I got there the wife complained about the seats having arms as they dug into your legs. After I sat down they brought her a "bariatric" chair. It was much wider. The husband said I should get one because the chair arms were also digging into the sides of my legs. I chose not to. The man obviously used to know what was best for everyone insisted that I get the larger chair. I looked at him did an exaggerated crossing of my arms and gave him a "hmmmpf". He looked at me with some shock in his eyes and I started laughing and said "I guess you met your match in stubbornness buddy." We became instant friends. He personifies what I love about New Englanders. They tell you how it is. No sugar coating it at all. He kept me laughing throughout the class.

I have a meeting with the surgeon on January 25th. I start my liquid protein diet on January 26th. Hopefully I will be so busy doing taxes I do not notice the hunger. I will get a call sometime before the surgery telling me who to pay when. Then D day or should I say S day! I am hoping I can get in on February 9th! There was only one other surgery I was excited for. My tubal ligation! After having four children in less than four years, I was excited to get it stopped. I have to say, this seems to be more exciting. I am not scared about having a stomach that can only hold up to four ounces for the rest of my life. This is going to help me continue to make good choices through out my life so that I can maintain a healthy weight.

My new buddy from class helped me determine my goal weight. He said.. How much did you weight when you graduated high school. I said 135. He said .. there ya go. Thats your goal weight. Perfect!! That was the weight I had in mind, but all these charts still insist that I will be overweight. I am completely satisfied with 135lbs being my goal weight!

Maybe on S day I will divulge my weight and how many pounds it will take to get to my goal weight. Right now my short term goal is to lose 50lbs by my birthday in May. I know I can do it!!

I'm on my weigh :)

They make fun of guys because they are afraid .. oops did I say afraid?? I meant they hate going to the doctors. I don't have a problem with doctors so much as I really do not like their answer for everything. PILLS. Everything can be solved if you take this prescription then take this other prescription to counter the side effects from the first and next thing you know you are losing weight because you are so busy taking pills all day that you do not have time or energy to eat food.

On my "Patient Checklist" it says to get a letter from your primary care physician stating "Why is surgery a good option for you?" Technically because I am a self-pay patient I could get around this, but I thought it would be a good idea to meet someone and let them in on the ground floor.

I decided on my primary care physician by calling this little place located in my kids' high school parking lot. My kids liked the school, so I figured it would be as good a place to begin as any. It turned out to be very cool. Its called Mill Creek Health Center. When you do not have insurance they go by a sliding scale fee also very cool. I saw a PA (Physicians Assistant) named Jay Lott. Very cool guy. I felt very comfortable with him. I was very very pleased with my visit. My initial paper work went by quickly, I was seen almost immediately (HAHA to all of you who have to wait hours to be seen in a medical clinic.) The nurse took my vitals and information and the Jay came in right behind her. Did I mention he was a cool guy? He asked what I was seeing him for and I said to establish a relationship with someone so they can be my primary care physician. I said I needed a letter on why weight loss surgery would be good for me. "You see my weight.. you see my height.. ta da!" Doesn't take a rocket science. I thought that would be it, but Jay is a thorough guy. Checked my ears and throat, lungs and heart. He gave me a referral for a blood work up to see if I have any underlying problems. He talked to me about what I have done in the past and how was I going to make sure it was going to change in the future.

He asked me "How is your diet now?" I responded with a nice hearty laugh. My diet sucks now. Since I have determined I was going to have the weight loss surgery, I have had a huge desire to test every single restaurant we have in town! I also have to test their desserts! I will say this - Every single time I eat out, I imagine how I could eat there after surgery. What choices would I make if I was eating there after the fact. Basically I have figured that I am going to save a ton of money from not eating out. All that money I save is going into my CSA (Cosmetic Surgery Account). My kids will be happy, because believe it or not they really hate going out to eat. They would prefer to eat healthy food at home. HOLY COW?!?! Are these my kids?? Never ever in my life would I have said.. but mom.. why don't we just eat at home .. have a banana.. If I wasn't awake at their births I might wonder if they were really mine!

I told the doc, you do not get to my weight and not know everything there is about weight loss. The problem is not the knowledge .. its the implementation. Thats where the surgery comes in. It will help me implement what I know about losing weight such as forcing me to chew my food very well. I have known for a long time that chewing your food goes a long ways in helping you lose weight. I actually chew my food better than most people I see eat, but I do not come close to how well it is supposed to be chewed. Next would be to stop eating when you are full not when the plate is empty. When you are only able to eat 2-4 ozs at a time, you will not be emptying any plates. The surgery will also help me to stop drinking sodas. Just these things in themselves will help me to lose weight. Making the right food choices will come when I am excited to continue my weight loss after my first initial weight loss from the 4 weeks of liquid protein diet.

I was also pleased to tell my new doc that I went shopping yesterday and purchased a exercise ball, ankle weights, and a new area rug for my living room. (I get to claim the rug because it is very nice and thick and will works wonders as an exercise mat!) He gave me kudos for getting this far.

Jay asked me if I have any before pics. I told him .. oh yea.. tons. But he gave me another good suggestion. I should buy some spandex clothing (something that shrinks with me) and either have someone take pics or get a tripod and take the same picture in the same clothes every two weeks so I can see the difference. I think this is a fantastic idea! I was just talking to my friend who had the Gastric Bypass. She lost over 50lbs so far, but was having a hard time seeing the results. I think this would be a good way of seeing it. When you are looking in the mirror every day seeing the pound by pound difference its much harder to notice the big picture.

I left the docs feeling very motivated. I will go back next week for a follow up to the blood work, and work on getting my letter from him.

I have set up appointments for the rest of my checklist.

• Attend seminar for weight loss (actually most people start with this, I am working just a little backwards) January 19th 6 p.m.
• Attend support group meeting February 3rd 7 p.m.
• Psych Evaluation January 10th 5 p.m.
• Nutrition Evaluation January 10th 3 p.m.
• Fill out RemedyMD online. I will complete that after I finish tonights blog.
• Medical records of 5 year weight loss - I do not have any so that should be easy!

Today was a good day! I feel very excited. I made my first real step in the direction of changing my life. This is going to happen!! As I told my son today when I was sliding out of the booth at the Pizza Factory..this time next year.. I will be able to slide out of the booths much easier.. no thats not true.. I will not be sliding into a booth in the first place!!

Love and Peace!!