Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Water water water .. UG!!

Water pill or no water pill. Am I the only one that struggles with this? I don't want to keep using this as a crutch, but it seems like I do over and over again. This time I lasted an entire week before caving and taking one.

It all started out with reaching that small goal of being in the 260's. It happened for a day. One day. Then I went camping. I was down 37.7 lbs the day I went camping.

We went to Zions National Park with our trailer in tow. Zions is well known for their fantastic hiking trails. We got there fairly early. Ok early for me which was before dark. George and Carlos took off on the scooter and Roberto and I decided to take a drive through the park. We stopped at one of the shortest hikes there. Its called Weeping Rock. This trail is only a quarter of a mile long, but very steep. I wanted to tackle this hike now that I was down some weight as the last time I went I stopped half way up it and used the excuse there was too much ice and I would fall. Roberto being the sweet guy he is offered to pull me along. About half way up I had to stop to let my heart rate slow down and catch some breath. I told Roberto to go ahead and wait for me at the top. After one more stop and every one passing me I made it to the waterfall. My throat was burning and my nose was running and I thought I was going to pass out, but I made it!! After taking about 5 minutes to get my heart from pounding out of my body, I got to look around at the fall. It was very pretty. I thought for sure I must have lost 10 lbs with that hike.

Here is the proof!

The next day, the cutest grandbaby in the world showed up and I went over to the river beach and played with him feeling really good that I was moving around instead of just being lazy and staying at the camp. I won't mention that my three boys were off hiking/climbing the Watchman mountain which took them about 3 hours. Someday I will go with them!!

As usual, I ate some of the food, but not much. The second day my mom came and took us to dinner, I didn't order anything just took a couple of bites from her plate. Didn't even eat the huge dessert she ordered. I was planning on hitting the 40 pound mark when I got back.

Well wouldn't you know that I struggle with every single little benchmark so why should this one be any different? I got home and weighed the next day and after not weighing for three days I had gained a pound. WHAT?!?! Grrrr!!! I started a detox program the night before and thought maybe it was my body getting used to that. I thought I was going to wait it out. I know its impossible that I actually gained fat, so it had to be water weight. For whatever reason my body was holding the water. The next day I gained a half pound, then the next day was a pound and the next day was another pound. You can only imagine my dismay!! WTF!!! For me to actually gain a pound I would have to eat about 5,000 calories. That is enough over what it takes to maintain the body weight I have right now to actually gain a pound of fat. I would put my calorie intake between 1,000 to 1,500 a day. I should be losing weight. So this leads me to believing this is water weight. I wake up and my face is all puffy and I just know its going to be a bad day on the scale.

So why is my body struggling so bad with water weight? I have mentioned this in past posts. I went to see my surgeon yesterday and he didn't have an answer for me. So I will have to go on my theory alone. It must be the types of food I am eating along with getting frustrated over not losing weight or gaining weight that I know is water so taking my water pill, but not liking the water pill so only taking it a couple of times so my body is reacting to that by holding more water. My water pill I am talking about is a prescription I received while seeing the Fat Doctor. Thats what I called her she was a physician specializing in bariatric diets. Its called Maxzide with 75mg of Triamterene and 50mg of HCTZ. The HCTZ is the diuretic or what helps your body release water. I used to take this every day. When I tried to get off of it I was miserable. My body swelled up so bad it hurt. It took me quite a while before I could stop taking it completely. This is why I do not want to get into the habit of taking it again. Another big reason I don't want to take it is because my friend who is also taking the same for high blood pressure ended up in the hospital when they doubled his HCTZ to 25mg. Holy cow! I was taking twice that for about six months.

Needless to say when the scale went up to 273.3 today I took the damn pill. I will deal with the consequences later!

On a good note:

The docs official weight loss for me is 34.4 pounds. This is not where I wanted it to be, but dang its still good. I got the clearance to only go back every three months. My blood pressure was 124 over 80. I am happy with that. The doc assured me the need to burp every time I eat will pass.

You might recall that I made a commitment to purchase the family annual pass to the rec center. I kept that commitment. I purchased it about a week and a half ago and used it for the first time tonight. I had a blast!! And I went all by myself. I called all of my kids (hello.. this is the reason I bought the FAMILY pass!) to see if anyone would go with me. Every single one of them were busy. Hmmmm .. I am thinking they just knew that I was going to show up like the nerd who goes swimming, snorkle, face mask, and fins with the little blow up sea monster that fits around your waist. Well I had everything but the floaty. I don't need one, I float very well all by myself.

So I show up to the pool with all my equipment and the lap lanes are full. I am not sure why I thought I would go unnoticed, but I did. As I am walking to the lap lanes and I see all the swimmers who know how to swim making great laps, I think "maybe I will just head to the kiddie pool and walk around". That did not happen.. well not yet anyways. A very cool rec center worker asked me if I wanted him to find me a lane. I said .. um no I think I will just head over to the kiddie pool. He said .. no.. let me find you a lane. These guys will share with you. Um.. well... ok.. I say thinking that this was crazy and wanted to just crawl in my bag of stuff. He found me a lane alright .. sharing with mister "I have been swimming for 20 years" in a speedo and goggles. Are you kidding me?? Isn't there any little old ladies or a kid who also doesn't know how to swim?? Oh well... what can I do but jump in. We agreed (me and my lane partner) that I would stay on one side and he would stay on the other. Thank God I took my equipment out of the packaging BEFORE I got there at least I didn't have to look like a dork who just bought the stuff. I pretended like I knew what I was doing. I was practicing for my diving trip to Hawaii of course!! I put my mask on then attach the snorkle. I get in the pool and then put the fins on. Trying my hardest to look like I knew what I was doing .. all along knowing I was looking like a complete dork. I put my head in the water and start to go .. two feet later I am up sputtering and trying to pull my mask off because it is full of water. Ug! I can't reach the ground because in those two feet it has dropped to at least 6 feet. I am surprised the life guard didn't jump in! Fortunately, my mask is fogged up as well so I can't see if anyone is laughing their asses off at me. I dump the water out of the mask and try again.. it takes me several laps before I decide to try the snorkle with just the goggles (you know the ones that just cover your eyes). I only go a few feet before knowing for sure this is not a good idea. I can not breath underwater without getting water up my nose. So I settle back in using the face mask with the snorkle. I deal with the water and actually end up doing laps for about an hour. I didn't count how many laps I did, I just know for every one I did my lane partner did two. Oh well .. who cares. I was happy I was exercising and enjoying it. I later went into the kiddie pool and walked the length using the water dumbbells the center provides. It was very cool and I stayed there in the kiddie pool for another half hour and felt great!

I have made a mental shopping list. I want to get a swim cap as my hair kept getting caught in my mask. I want to get a nose plug so I can swim with the goggles and the snorkle. I want to get a bathing suit. Swimming in shorts is ok but they do not dry like a suit would which means different short each time I go swimming. I have learned that I need to use the kiddie pool first to do my laps with the dumbbells because it closes 2 hours before the lap pool does.

So the question will be.. will I go shopping tomorrow or swimming.

I am so grateful I had the Sleeve Gastrectomy. Even through all of the struggles I am over 30 pounds less than I was at the beginning of the year!!

Ok get ready for a laugh.. here are the pics!

Here I am in my gear!

Well I deleted the fins picture. I think it was showing off the "girls" more than the fins and that was not my purpose. :) Sorry guys!!

Here are the swimmers in the next lane which were swimming like the pros

Being more active and its fun!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Goal weight - Is it realistic?

My goal weight is 135 lbs. I am 5 feet and 3/4 inches. This weight may be at the top end of the charts for my height, but I seriously have big bones that are very dense. Any time before this when I have dieted, my goal weight was 150 lbs. This seemed more realistic to me for some reason. I guess thinking that over the years my muscles got heavier, and my bones got heavier. I am also thinking about the extra skin I will undoubtedly have. Maybe I will get down to 150 and need 15 lbs of extra skin removed. I think what I will do is leave my goal at 135 but as I get down towards the 150 mark, I will start going by body fat percentage, although I am not sure that those things are any more accurate than just using the charts.

As of today, I am down 35.6 lbs. This leaves me at needing to lose 135 lbs to be 135 lbs. The exciting thing is my first short term weight goal of being 250 by my birthday will probably be accomplished a month ahead of schedule. This is very very exciting. This means that I can weigh less than I have in the last 10-15 years by my birthday.

The interesting thing about being so heavy is that its still hard for me to see the 35.6 lbs gone. I mean I sort of see it in the mirror. But most people would not come up to me and say "Did you lose weight?" Not that they get the chance. I am constantly boasting about my weight loss. I am thinking about making a road trip up to San Francisco with my kids this summer. My first high school (I went to four) is having a 40th anniversary celebration. I thought it would be fun to go to, as well as see my (ex) but in my heart still my in-laws. Recently, I started thinking .. even though losing 60 or 70 lbs, I will still be 100 lbs more than they remember me in high school .. and still around the same weight I was when I last saw most of my in-laws. They couldn't appreciate the amount I lost. I mean I am sure they would congratulate me, but it's not like they saw me at 300 then saw me at 230. My in-laws probably saw me at 230 but high school?? They saw me at 125.

This is a picture of a high school friend and I. Of course I am the dark haired one. :)

This is another picture of when I was in high school. No laughing at the dress!

So you can see my point. Thats what they saw me as. So even going at 230-240 I will still have gained 100 lbs since they saw me. I will say that one of the things that did cross my mind is going just so they could see me now so that if I were go to the next one they could then appreciate what I have accomplished. Sometimes I really wonder about my sanity!

I think that making short term goals is very helpful. I started out making a column in my spreadsheet of pounds to go until my goal weight. This was a little overwhelming. It started at 170 lbs. Its now 135 lbs. I added a column that gave me my pounds to lose until my first goal of 250. It started at 55.8 lbs. Now it is 20.2. This seems more reasonable to me and is not as overwhelming. For some reason it helps me to feel more accomplished. Its the same weight loss, but seeing the 20.2 just makes it seem like it is much more accomplishable. (I know .. accomplishable is not a word.. but it is appropriate.)

Tomorrow I plan to be in the 260's. I know I have been there in 2006, but I just do not remember it. This is very exciting!! I am so grateful for getting the sleeve gastrectomy. It has helped me reach goals I never thought I was going to make. I am very grateful that I was able to do it now when I can enjoy life. I feel livelier. I am getting my membership to the gym/community center today.

I feel successful!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I have been waiting to hit the 30 lb mark....

Its been a while since I last blogged. I have been waiting to hit the 30 pound mark, which is not coming. My weight loss over this last week has been small and the last few days I have gained. I know this is water weight. It is weird after so many years of dieting I do know my body's reactions. If I eat certain foods or eat at certain times I can guarantee weight gain. For example, I know if I eat Chinese food, I will undoubtedly weigh more the next day. Even when I am eating such small portions. It is not because I am eating more than my 2,356 calories which is what it takes to maintain my current weight, but because of the ingredients. It causes me to hold water. I know if I eat late at night and have acid reflux while I am sleeping, my body reacts by holding water.

The latter actually occurred last night. I was doing so good yesterday, as I have not been losing and wanted to hit that 30 pound mark, but when I got home after work, around 9 p.m., I knew there was a piece of cheesecake in the fridge calling my name. I did the right thing and took only a small piece. (Ok maybe the right thing would have been not to take it at all.) I have learned this makes it easier not to overeat. When I say small, I mean very small. It wasn't even a 2 inch square piece. I took a bite or two of it, then got involved with a conference call. The call was semi-stressful, dealing with a sick relative and my ex-husband at the same time. After the call, it was probably around midnight, I almost unconsciously ate the rest of the cheesecake. This was bad. Acid reflux while you are sleeping is very bad. Waking up in the middle of the night coughing acid because you inhaled it while sleeping is miserable. Prior to the surgery if I had heartburn/acid reflux I would take a quarter teaspoon of baking soda in a glass of water. Now I am afraid it will hurt too much because it causes a lot of gas in the stomach. I need to get some Tums or something that will help me out if this ever occurs again. I knew as soon as I woke up with the acid reflux that the scale was not going to be happy with me in the morning. (Interesting how this is the second thing I think about, after the pain.) Sure enough, when I woke up and walked towards the mirror I knew. My face was puffy. I still weighed myself so I can keep track, but I gained almost a half of a pound.

I figured this was actually good news. One, I knew I was going to gain water weight. Two, usually its at least a pound. Three, this means that I actually lost weight, and it will show as soon as the water weight leaves me.

Now, I have told you before how water pills just mess with my system, and yes they make me feel good for the short term, but do not help out in the long term, but today I was desperate. I have been waiting to get to the 30 pound mark for several days now. So I took a half of a pill. This would be equivalent to 25 mg of HCTZ.

I am so grateful to have the sleeve gastrectomy. Even with this slight weight gain, I still do not feel failure. I would like the weight to come off faster, but I know for a fact it will happen. Taking away the sense of failure, even with the weight gain, feels tremendous. To some 28 pounds is alot, to me its seems little compared to what I need to lose. I will tell you this, it is great to look at my spreadsheet and see the pounds to goal shrink. From 170 to 142. I almost like looking at this more than the pounds lost. My first short term goal of being 250 by my birthday, started out at 55.8 and is now 27.4. This is exciting. I am half way there.


I took my measurements on January 26, 2011. This is the day I started the liquid protein diet. I measure: neck, left wrist, right wrist, left upper arm, right upper arm, under arms above chest, chest, ribs, waist, hips, left thigh, right thigh, left calf, right calf, left ankle, right ankle. I measured myself on March 2, 2011 and have lost 20.25 inches total. This is good news! The biggest losers were the waist at 3.5 inches and the hips at 3.25 inches. This is why those black jeans fit. The guys will be happy to know that the chest and ribs went down exactly the same 1.5 inches. This means the cup size stays the same, just the band size goes down.

I fully expect to hit that 30 pound mark tomorrow. I am excited.

Support Group

I attended the New Beginnings support group last Thursday. It was fantastic. Trevor Smith, who is an Exercise Physiologist was the speaker. He was great.. and good looking! I have never heard of an Exercise Physiologist before. He explained that it is someone who knows the workings of your body and how it relates to exercise. He also reaffirmed what I have thought all along but what goes against what all those little skinny kids who are called personal trainers at the gyms promote, the best way to lose fat is to exercise with weights.

I remember going to the Gold's Gym and hiring a personal trainer. She gave me this routine that was completely ridiculous. I told her that curling 2 lb weights was not how I was going to lose weight. She insisted that I wanted to tone not build muscle. I explained to her that yes I do want to build muscle as muscle burns fat. Of course, she was the "expert". Well, I decided maybe I needed a guy trainer. Someone who was interested in weight training. Nope.. he said the same thing. I gave the same response. He insisted I needed to tone not build muscle. I told him, calf pressing 50 lbs is nothing to me.. I calf press 300 lbs every day.. duh! The best personal trainer I ever had was my friend Tony. He was a body builder. A serious body builder - Olympian size body builder. He worked my ass off and was great to look at. Unfortunately, I do not know whatever happened to Tony.

The ladies at the support group who have attended Trevor's bariatric exercise class said they really liked it and that Trevor really pushes them. I could see him like a Bob from the Biggest Loser. Pushy but nice. Unfortunately, Trevor's only openings right now is in his 7 a.m. class. For those of you that know me, that's just impossible. So, I have contacted the Washington Community Center, which has a gym and a great lap pool, as well as exercise classes and of course the fun pool with the lazy river. They are having a special going on now with no enrollment fees and the first month free, then $45 a month for the entire family up to 6 members. I will be joining them soon. Actually, I am going to make a commitment to join them this week. They are also sponsoring the local radio station's Biggest Loser contest. Their trainers have experience with working out with bariatric patients and helping them to lose weight. I will look into finding one that is right for me.

Back to the support group. It is so great to attend the meeting. It is so encouraging. I hope I can make as great an impact on others as they do on me. I hope those coming to the meetings who have not received the help we have get the encouragement they need to make the right decision for them. As far as I know, the group is not closed to those only seeking surgery. I would encourage anyone who is needing help with weight loss to attend. We get great information regarding exercise, weight loss, behavioral guidance and I am sure much more. It is on the first Thursday of each month at 7 p.m. at the Health and Performance building lower level.

I want to thank all of you who support me. I love your encouragement!